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Hayden Panettiere didn't know she'd lose custody. The 33-year-old actress has been open about her struggles with addiction and depression
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She lost custody of Kaya, now 7, after she moved to Ukraine with Hayden's ex Wladimir Klitschko.
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In a 'Red Table Talk' clip, she said: "It wasn't entirely my decision when she was almost three. I didn't know until she arrived."
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The 'Heroes' star said the "unselfish thing" was to focus on herself."If I'm not OK, if I'm not good, I can't be the best mom to you," she said.
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I was going through a tough time and knew the most unselfish thing I could do was to work on myself."
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Hayden, who spent eight months in rehab, addressed her alcoholism before Kaya moved in with her father.
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She said, "I'd wake up shaking and need alcohol to function."It was my toughest task. To be a good mom, I had to let her go."
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Hayden has said she "never wanted to harm her" but "didn't want to spend time with her" while depressed.
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She said of Klitschko's 2018 split: "Avoiding me. Myself. I'd do anything for opiates and alcohol. Worse. Self-destruction."